Apophenia

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The best way to get over a guy is to hop on another. But the other guy shouldn’t be my brother. When I break up with my boyfriend, my brother’s there to comfort me — along with a bottle of vodka, and a heap of bad decisions that all lead to a creamy mess we’ll never forget.

When my brother’s girlfriend breaks up with him, I make sure she pays for it. Drugging her isn’t going too far. Neither is stripping her naked and offering her virginity to my brother. He’s a good guy, hesitating rather than pouncing, but I’m there to urge him on, to make sure he takes her helpless, pliant body.

Show off that proud, flat belly… while you still can. Strange noises keep me up at night, thumps and moans and yelps. I do my best to ignore them. None of my business – until an intruder invades my dorm room and I’m the one making the noises.

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